Who is this?

Not a pretty sight.


I know. This is the face without the teeth. I am reminded of the hundreds of times in our youth when we would come in the presence of a grandparent or an uncle and they would push out a denture and we would run screaming, just scared to death. And the street bums without teeth. I very much associate this look with the ravages of age and poverty.

I will have to give my teeth a whole new take on life. I have to re-"view" them so that I don't get caught up in the negative stereotype of getting dentures.

I think I am just a little blue today. I am not eating enough and it is wearing me down. I have lost now 12 pounds. That is nice but at what cost. I forced myself to eat a whole bowl of oatmeal for dinner tonight. It was a real push. And I love oatmeal. But it was difficult.

Now for a lighter note. Let us talk CHEESECAKE!

I was commissioned to make a cheesecake for a woman in the office. Georgia bought the ingredients. Lemons, sour cream, cream cheese (the one she bought was a bit too salty and I had to do some finagling with that.) So I left the ingredients out for a few hours to get them room temperature. I separated eggs and began to make the crust. I am looking for my pan when it comes to me. I can't find it because Beth still has it! In New Hampshire I have 6 springform pans. I can make a cheesecake any time. Here I have one. If the pan is not returned before I have to make another, what to do. Now, how often do I even have to make a cheesecake? Let alone two in two weeks? So, this whole thing is odd. It is 11:30 at night and I am standing in my tiny kitchen and I am thinking - well, Beth is a night owl too..... So I called her and her Martha Stewart voice answers the phone. We chat, we laugh as usual because we love to make fun of everyone, then we talk about the cheesecake. God bless her, she is willing to put on her coat and bring the pan over. Luckily, she only lives ten minutes from me. She gives me the pan, I give her chocolate. She treasures chocolate as much as me. And then, when the cake is cut on Friday, I will snag a piece for her.

I just took the cake out of the oven. It looks good. No crack. Smooth. Just lovely. I love making cheesecake. I think I might create a chocolate drizzle for it tomorrow. We'll see. I will bring it in when I go to my knitting class. That way, Georgia can take it out of the fridge in the morning as a good cheesecake should be served at room temperature. If she takes it out at say 8:30 in the morning, then if they serve it by noon, it will be perfect. I don't know. People are funny about stuff like that.

OK. 1:30 in the morning. I haven't done anything on Christmas. Time to shut down in the kitchen. The plants are watered. Shut this little computer down and get to work. New pot of coffee made. Four hours. I can do a lot in four hours............

Food

I was really ambitious tonight. I made an apple pie without the crust. I thought that, seeing I can't chew, maybe these apples would be soft enough to eat. Or at least to suck on. I am having a really difficult time with food. I just can't seem to eat enough. The weight loss is OK, but I am tired all the time, weak and often feel dizzy like I want to faint. Apples are good. A little brown sugar, a little butter, nutmeg, cinnamon, alspice. Sounds nice. Of course, I can't eat all of this and so my neighbor and her husband will indulge in some very willingly.


Oh, and my beloved mashed potatoes. I put some in a container and surround it with a creamed soup. I can't tell you how delicious this is. I know. You are thinking this is quite boring. But really, it's not. Now, I loathe broccoli. But I have this creamed broccoli soup that I bought by mistake. So I tried it with the potatoes. Oh my gawd. It is so good.

I am thinking, that even after the healing is over, I might still eat the mashed potatoes and soup. It IS very good. Very easy, very digestible and if the soup is a good quality, then it has got to be nutritious.



This has been on my counter for awhile . Caroline, my niece, gave this to me. I don't ever hope to be able to eat something like this ever again. I have to make a cheesecake this week for a woman in the office and I may chop this up and sprinkle it on top. ohhhhh welllllll

The French General's Angel

Isn't she just adorable? The doll is from a pattern from a designer, Rosalie Quinlan, "Little Bag of Dollies", from Australia. Of course, I made changes. I gave her the high position of being an angel. So, she is wearing white pantaloons made from $30 a yard men's Italian shirting. I gave her gold shoes. Everything is tied with silk ribbons. I made her wings trimmed and tied in gold. And then, for all of her wonderness, she is holding a very expensive star made of pure gold and thousands of dollar's worth of real diamonds in the shape of a star. This is one very special angel.

Moda Fabrics is coming in today and I have highlighted a printing of their fabrics for one of our special Christmas displays. "The French General's Lumiere." I will be photographing the display after they have seen it. I just didn't have the time as I didn't find out about their visit until the last minute (of course).


No one will see the back, but there are the gold threads, white pantaloons, and shoes. I always need to know that if someone was holding my work, it would not be one sided just because it is a display.

I absolutely love this little doll. As I write this I am thinking, wearing pretty silks, maybe she is this year's ornament?

My Birthday

It was such an unusual birthday this year. Since I arrived here in Oregon in 2003, I haven't really known anyone close enough to celebrate my birthday with except my sister Denise. Oh, I know a lot of people from the store and through the store, but no one who would do the 'make a cake and buy a present' thing. But it was different this year.It seemed as though every time I turned around more little groups of women were celebrating. It was wonderful. I was so moved. Little gifts, candles, hugs, conversations about age and grace.

This past year has been really quite a turning year for me. And the proof of it has shown this past week surrounding my birthday. I don't know why people are so anxious about "getting old". I think really, it is a matter of perception. I really don't think people know how to look at themselves once they begin to turn fifty, sixty years old. And I think that those fitness gurus, the age-conscious gurus out there really don't hit the mark with their philosophies. If they did, then people wouldn't be so uptight about getting old. It is very very rare indeed that I meet anyone comfortable about being 61.

I just love being 61. It was a great birthday. And it will be a wonderful year. And if you want to know why, email me.

Are you ready for a good laugh

Before. Not a natural smile.



I know. I took my own before pictures and I didn't really capture the true essence of what it was like having all the missing teeth. I was so used to never opening my mouth that I just couldn't get it right. And smiling was no longer natural for me because it meant showing the above pictures. Even with the partials in I was just not comfortable. So I was pretty serious all the time unless I threw reservation to the wind and allowed my comedy to come out and celebrated laughter at the price of my embarrassment.


So, this is how it is now. Can you believe it? And I just love the scarf. When I went out for my birthday dinner with Denise and Caroline they were both wearing wonderful scarves. I thought, how lovely and why not me? The very next day at the store, out president, Trudy, had made a major buy in NY, and they were draping at least 50 styles of scarves on the conference table in the Vendor's Room. What. Providence!! So I bought two. Yeah - 40% discount. Then I bought two pieces of 3 yards each of bamboo knit which I just love to wear. They are heavy and so ample and I just look and feel fabulous in those. I chain-stitched the cut ends with special threads. Unfortunately the knit is limited in colors. I plan to pick up black next. I think that will be fine for this winter.

Now for the fun.

So my appointment for the surgery to remove my teeth was last Thursday. Denise, my patient lovely sister, picked me up and spent the entire travel time to the dentist allaying my anxiety. Then, in the end, walking into the room at Dr. Holland's office, I looked at the chair and all of the anxiety lifted. What could go wrong? Bad things don't happen to me.

It took a lot of drug to numb the mouth. Teeth breaking. Lots of pressure. Lots of noise. Everything was so fragile. Holland was trying to explain what was happening as he was going along but at times it was difficult because he was so intent in his work. This was not an easy case for him. On some teeth he had to cut them in sections in order to remove them.

I think it took longer than he had expected. First he pulled the top ones and put in the upper denture right off. Then he did the lower and set in that denture. He explained a few things and rushed out. I was not very clear on the instructions. I waited in the hallway till he was through with a patient to clarify a few things.

Rinse. Leave the dentures in for several days. Post op on Monday. Take a pain med as soon as I get home, before the numbing medication wears off. Take a pain med as soon as i get home before the numbing medication wears off.

Do you see where I am headed? Denise is kind enough to go to the pharmacist for the pain medication. Then we come home and I have to rinse because there is still a lot of blood. It is quite ugly and she leaves. I will be fine and she really doesn't need to hang out. I am just going to lay down. Next, to take the pain med. I get the pill on my tongue, fill the glass with warm water, but I can't tell if the glass is at my mouth. I am soaking wet by the time I find my mouth and by then, the glass is empty. So I refill the glass. I decide to put my left hand where my lips are and am successful at getting the glass to my lips but am not successful at getting water into my mouth as I can't seem to suck the water into my mouth. I finally get a tiny amount in and realize the pill is melting, because I can taste in at the back of my mouth. I tip my head back and keep trying to get the water in.

If he said to try to take the medication before the pain set in, what exactly did he mean? Did he know this would happen? Or did he mean that I should not forget? Surely someone must have a trick for this and should have published a perfect technique for this ordeal.There was water all over my clothes, all over the sink, the floor. And exactly what did happen to that damn pill? Did it really go down my throat or did it slide down between my cheek and teeth?

I gave up and took my bed pillows and the down comforter and layed down on the sofa. The pain came and went, was light and heavy. It was constant for several days. I have been wearing
the dentures constantly for five days. D- and I went to the market on Sunday. I bought two kinds of pastes that hold dentures in place. Two kinds of denture cleaners. A tube of ointment that is supposed to keep your mouth moist, invented for people who suffer from dry mouth. It only works for very short periods of time. I spent a fortune of product in search of the "right stuff".

The teeth are beautiful. I need to learn to open my mouth again. To smile, to speak fully. To be more expressive. It is still sore. I also need to learn to eat. I have not been able to eat much. I have managed to eat once a day and that was tomato soup, scrambled egg, or mashed potato. And very small amounts. I am now allowed to remove the dentures to clean them. I get hungry a little but am afraid to eat. I am afraid it will hurt and so I put it off. Dental therapy. Is there such a thing?

I managed to put in a full day at work on Monday. Beth cam back. She has been out since January 9th. She went to the doctor because she had a pain. That issue led to another and another and another. She used to have this lovely barroom voice and a disposition in the like. She came back to us with a voice that sounds like Martha Stewart and she is thin and fragile. I made a "Welcome Back" lemon cheesecake for her that lasted all of a half hour in the lunchroom. Beth loved it so much that I ended up wrapping the last three pieces so she could bring it home. After all, I made it for her. Everyone was in tears to have her back. She is just one of those special women - real.

So, what do you all think of the scarf look?

Just My Imagination

For some reason I got up this morning and thought I heard on the radio that this was Sophia Loren's 70th birthday. I have been thinking about this all day. That makes her 9 years older than me. How could that possibly be? I just now remembered to look it up. She was born in 1934 making her 15 years older than me. Well, that is better. .... Still, when you think about it, 15 years. The older you get, the shorter a span of years seems to be. Am I right?

I am sitting here in my chair soaking my feet in a beautiful lavender soap water. It has been a very very busy few days. I made 11 noren curtains for the sushi restaurants. This project had to get done. I have had it a month.

Then last week, Julie presented me with her latest project. Only this one was not for the store. It was for her husband who is a drummer in Las Vegas. He landed a really prestigious part as Ringo Star in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. his outfit is very specific. All four of their outfits were very specific and individualized to their personalities. What we had seen in the internet was very "constume-y", cheap. He was looking for the real thing. She asked me for my help because of my experience. So, we began. She networked across the country to bring in just the perfect pink satin, the perfect trims, everything. What we couldn't get in the store, we depended on the vast collection of vendors that she had connections with. Everyone pulled through for her. What it says is that she is such a lovely person, that people are willing to bend over backwards to help her.

Hey, Monday and Tuesday I got up at 9:30 in the morning to get to the store to work on this project. That really says a lot about her. She created the shell. All the gold work. I created all the inner mechanics of the outfit. I made the pants, that is the only satin I touched other than installing the sleeves which she was more comfortable with my doing. OK.

The linings had to be detachable for cleaning. We chose bamboo fabric for this because it wicks moisture away from the body and it cools the body too. A good fabric and easy to work with. Snaps and hooks and buttons everywhere. This was all my installation. Underarm shields. I designed those specific. Lots of them, adding colored stitching to indicate front and back. Same with the boxer shorts that went into the pants.

Trims applied and removed because they didn't work. Julie did all of this. Waiting for the perfect one to come to the front.

At 4 o'clock, when it was done, it was absolutely perfect. Of course, no time to take pictures. Wrap it up and off to the airport. Pictures will come. It was fabulous.

While applying the last details, we were able to talk a bit about how wonderful it was to get to work together. We do that well. We supported each other, carried each other, understood what each other thought. We work very very well together. It was a total pleasure. As I was packing up to come home, I found a little card she left me, telling me how happy she was to know me. I know what she meant. I feel the same with her.

It was a great experience.

I go back into work today, Wednesday facing another deadline. I have just today to finish a shirt/coat for one of our vendors who will be attending "Quilt Market" this weekend. And because of my surgery, I have only today to finish it. Again, no pressure there.

This I can photo. The fabric is Robert Kaufman and has not been released yet. And it is going to be cute. You know, I could wear such a thing. I should just be daring. But I'm not. I am locked into what I wear and that is it.

Denise gave me a shirt she didn't want anymore becuase it was old and I opened the side seams a bit. But the shirt fits really well. I am just so used to wearing everything so baggy.

I am thinking of making changes this winter. I am getting a new mouth. So why not a new body!!

Falling Stars

I don't know what it means, but in the past two weeks I have seen six falling stars. Or are they called shooting stars. No matter. There they have been. How I love this time of year when the cool air sets in and I take out my sweaters and coats. I wrap myself in my shawl at night. I have turned on my heat finally but only for a short while, just to take the chill out of the air.

The leaves are beginning to fall. There is not the change of colors like in New England. But I think that is only because I am not surrounded by trees like I was back there.

I have created a new blanket edge for fleece which I will present to the store tomorrow for a demonstration and display. I'll have to write directions for a free hand out for the customers. It has a braided edge. It is just a tiny sample and I'll post pictures of a full size blanket if they approve of it. I might make a couple for Christmas presents this year. It is quite stunning. Much nicer than a fringed edge. Of course there is nothing like a blanket stitched edge. It is just different.

Work on my teeth is finally set. I have been to my dentist for a set of three impressions. Next Thursday he will be pulling all of the teeth out. The dentures will be finished and ready to set in. It's pretty exciting. Finally I will have my full smile back, my full expressions back. Due to medications, and a lack of saliva, my beautiful teeth have completely deteriorated. Sad. Now,my self-consciousness will disappear. It will be great. Worth the pain.

I know I have a lot of pictures to record here. Although I have been absent for months, I have been producing quite a few spectacular pieces. Summer is always difficult for me. I am not a summer person and usually isolate in these months. I hope to be back now. I just have to bring my camera to work with me.

My current project is in helping to make a Ringo Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart's Club Band costume for a production in Las Vegas. Julie is making the piece for her husband who is a drummer. It is quite a serious affair. What we have seen on the internet is either quite cheap or very expensive, and so we are constructing it ourselves to make something authentic. I know at some point I will be getting pictures. I am not actually doing the work. I am advising and will probably be involved in some of the inner mechanics. We have just a week to make this. Of course. I will keep you all posted on its progress. So far, my experience has been valuable. That is nice.

I also created a new soup. I call it my

Lemon Leaf soup.

2 Tb olive oil
1 onion, chopped large
2 Med potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 C veg or chicken broth
1 Lb baby spinach leaves, cleaned
1 bunch of parsely chopped
1/2 cabbage, chopped
1 bunch kale, spines removed, cleaned and chopped
1 bok choy, cut up
1 small squash, peeled, seeded and chopped
2 lemons, the peel grated, and the juice extracted

Heat oil in large pot and cook onions until translucent. Begin to add all the other ingredients with the broth. Add water if needed, but not too much.

When all ingredients are cooked and squash is tender, partly blend with an emulsion blender or put part of the soup in your blender. You want part of the soup to be whole and part of it to be thick and smooth. I also added some small cubed ham to this but you don't have to.

Salt and pepper to taste.

It really is a refreshing soup with the lemon in it. And all the green leaves are so good for you.

I hope to be making more entries.

See you all soon.