Remember the movie with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfus called "What About Bob?" when near the end they strapped Bill to the mast and took him out onto the water and he yelled out "I"m sailing!! I'm sailing!!"
Well, George took me out driving this morning. I have not driven in over six years. I have been putting it off for awhile. Fear. What if I fail? I gave up my license when I was going through the "great depression" in Oregon. Public transportation was abundant in Portland. Driving was dangerous in my condition.
I spent hours reading and trying to remember the details of the driver's manual yesterday. I was able to get the manual online. Thank you Denise. It is very very wordy. And at one point I called George to ask him why I had to know all this stuff about tractor trailers and motorcycles. He said I had to just skip over those parts because they didn't apply to me. I should have asked him earlier. Anyway, the manual is over 100 pages. I don't know. How can I retain all those details.
So he came this morning and we went out driving. We began in the parking lot of St. Augustin's school in Goffstown. Then we went down all these country roads so I could get used to peripheral
vision, speed limits, awareness. Then we went to Hannaford's to practice head in parking. Then we went to busier streets, to Staples to get printer ink. More practice in parking. He was in complete control to the point that, even when I was out of the car, he got just a tad testy on when it was good to walk from the car to the store!! I actually understood. I was so focused on driving I was not paying attention to the fact that the man in the car next to us had pulled out of his space despite the fact that he was about to run me over. George said, when you are learning to drive, you notice these things. But once you are experienced you don't want to turn into an "a______" like him.
Then it was time to come home and practice parallel parking. It took two tries but I understood the "seeing". I was always good at parallel parking.
At one point, driving this beautiful road through New Boston I exclaimed "I'm sailing!!"..
George laughed. He has every confidence in me. Now somehow between now and the test which we hope will be tomorrow morning, I have to believe in that confidence.
Tonight, when all the things I want to do today are done, I will re-read the manual. I have to get up at 8:00 in the morning. Anxiety. Relax. Breathe. Anxiety.