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Friday, December 11, 2009


My sister Denise sent me this picture. Probably taken in the 90's when I was with my husband George. George was a great man. We are still married. Still a great good friend.

How many women did I hug today? People are frazzled. People are rude and the victims are taking it personally and the world, I feel is a mess. I myself am having to take many moments to breathe and separate from what is in front of me so that I can remember that what I am witnessing is not belonging to me. It is not real. This is supposed to be a time of love and family and friendship and yet, people a rushing around and demanding, and I don't even think they know what they are doing! They throw their money at you as though yo9u don't count as a human being!

How many times today did I imagine myself sitting in my chair working on my Christmas pears. I finished Jody's Christmas present tonight. I was thinking today on how I would wrap it to send it to her. I was working with a customer when in the middle of the conversation it just came to me. The customer gave me this look like - are you OK? I just smiled and apologized and told her the light just went on. I am sure she thought i was crazy, but just for a second. She had, after all, been sent to me because I am the store's seamstress and I was going to give her the answers to her dilemma with the dress she was making and she was told that I was the expert. So, this is absolutely brilliant. I am going to do this will all the gifts. It was a wonderful little vacation during the stress of the day.

I am usually pretty calm at the store. I will stand in front of a customer, very still, just smiling, and it is always the same - you'll be fine. It is a lot simpler than you think. Or I will take a customer to my sewing room and show them how to do what they need to do. I teach. I reassure. I advise. I de-stress. I can take a customer who is totally wired and have her leaving as though she has just had a massage. Fellow employees are always giving me the difficult customers.

I like being clam, being silent. On my days off, I can go the entire day without saying a word out loud. Like my friend Jody, I like being with myself. I am never bored. There is always a yarn, an embroidery thread, a fabric to be manipulated. My whole life is filled with color and texture. When I want to write, I take out my books, And the words just flow. I have a wealth of contemplations upon which to draw thought, food for my beautiful pens and inks, my beautiful unlined books.

To have a way of thinking that expands your way of thinking is very exciting. Anything that I do brings me farther than expected. Every day, no matter where I am, or what I am doing, I am being carried farther than I expected. This is the specialty of my life. I would not be who I am without this. And the value of my relationshipseven with strangers would not be as it is without this specialty. I did not go to any special school. No formal teachers, no formal role models. "Picked up here and there." "Born with it." Angels guiding me every step. And I share it at every opportunity I have. How lucky am I!~~~~~

I have to keep this forefront in my thought when I standing in front of a customer who is dressed to the hilt with too much makeup while I am checking her driver's liscence and she is telling me that it is illegal for me to ask for ID and she is giving me all of this loud mumbo jumbo about the law and I am just doing my job and I don't care about what she is saying because all I know is that her signature on the charge slip does not match the signature on her credit card and so I am going to check her driver's license whether she likes it or not and I think she just doesn't want me to know that she is 60 years old as old as me and she looks 75 years old and I just want her to go away because in this day and age of identity fraud and theft I am just protecting her card please go away...........................................

Peace. Give me peace. Help me to give you peace. Let my whole being promote peace. Comfort to an ailing soul. Tranquility to a soul in turmoil. Let my life mean something.

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